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Wednesday, February 20th, 2008

Subject:"Exit Strategy"
Posted by:rebcav.
Time:8:39 pm.
I am sick of hearing libs talk about an exit strategy for Iraq!  Why aren't they asking about an exit strategy for Germany and Japan?  We have been in those countries since WWII and that has worked out pretty well.  What about Korea?  We've been there since the 50's!  What about Cuba?  We have occupied Guantanimo Bay since the the Spanish American war!

Do you realize that the Democrats pushed, PUSHED Lincoln for an exit strategy during the Civil War?  This is not an an exaggeration, just a conveniently overlooked fact!  I think that there should be a law that Dems shouldn't b e in charge during war time unless they are FDR or Truman!
Comments: Add Your Own.

Saturday, September 30th, 2006

Posted by:zyxinn.
Time:4:34 pm.
Mood: indignant.
so effing angry!

One of the teachers today (Saturday; no school) insulted me during the SAT prep session. i'm sooo indignant right now! SEVERELY need to vent.

This is the incident which I will remember and relate Monday to Mr. K lol!

but yeah. angry like you wouldn't believe!

I finished entering my answers into the computer program early, like the first 20 minutes we got to the computer lab.

So I asked Ms. ---- if I could leave early because I finished. She said I had to effin stay til 3:30. so another hour to kill.

So yeah. the rest of the time, I did ABSOLUTELY NOTHING except talk to Akane because I didn't bring extra work and she didn't allow us to go onto other sites.

So half an hour pass, 3 pm, and I notice a few people leave.

So what do i do? I ask again.

She says to me that she's been watching me not doing the work (which is untrue because I finished fucking EARLY) the whole time. and Akane and I were just like shell-shocked. Then I was like "here, I'll show you everything. I only got a few wrong and reworked it an hour ago..."
and she was like "no you're lying! you're a liar!"

I was slack-jawed from shock. Imagine it. I had the site out to show her it (because it documents the "tries" you have-- you're supposed to have one for the original test and one for the reworking-- and I said "no really, look. It shows that I did each section TWICE."
and she was like "liar liar liar" and walked away.

In front of the whole SAT prep room.

I wasn't majorly embarassed, but I can imagine she was after the fact.

Because I may have spoken back, but I felt I had a right to when my name was being slandered unjustly! I did do the work!

And-- just think of it. A 30-something teacher calling a 16-year-old female a liar. for something that I explicitly said "if you come and look, this can solve this dispute fairly quickly"

So she just walked away.

And everyone was like whispering ooooh
and i was half laughing because I was so righteously angry, but half confused at the events that traspired. Because it was simply BULLSHIT.

1) I am not a liar. at least not in that case.
2) I think I handled the situation like any indignant debating teen would do-- I debated-- or more like justly argued-- with her.
3) I did NOT call her any names. What a hypocrite! I used to have her for Q period-- and you know what? She used to give lectures about school conduct. No namecalling!

(rolls eyes)

Most teachers are heavenly. Thank heavens mine were always reasonable. But some are plainly... not interested in teaching and therefore take it out on students. Except for those who suck up to them (ahem L*****a).

Thank heavens we switched from Qperiod to HOMEROOM. because my HOMEROOM teacher ROCKS.

okay rant done.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Sunday, November 27th, 2005

Subject:random crap that really annoys me
Posted by:munchkinprince.
Time:7:49 pm.
people who say "sup" instead of hello
people who ask how life is when they don't intend to stay and listen to the answer(in the hallway)
people who ask how life is when they've never even met you before
people who ask for my advice, ignore it, then realize I was right the whole time
people who depend on someone else's help and never say thank you
people who put their own needs above everyone else's
people who use problems in their life to grab attention
people who use their sexuality to get attention
people who use a sexuality that isn't their own to get attention(straight girls making out cuz some straight guys think it's hot)
straight Guys who don't like gay guys but love gay girls
people who overdramatacize everything
people who complain about EVERYTHING
people who think life is hell and everyone else should think the same way.
people who don't enter relationships because "it would ruin the friendship"
people who ask for tons of help, and when it's given, the help wasn't good enough.
people who think sports is the only thing in life that actually matters
teachers who prepare students for tests instead of life.
people who make fun of others for asking questions
people who mock others for what they believe
people who don't do anything, but go through life without problems
people who make fun of someone else for physical ailments
people who make fun of others for mental ailments
people who only care about drugs and how soon they can get to them.
People who make fun of other people's religions
people who enter arguments without any intention of staying in it
people who say "I've got a secret" and don't tell you
people who tap you on one shoulder and swing around to the other
people who make fun of accents
guys that are "confused"
people that "refuse to be labeled"
people that say "love isn't that great"
people that are homophobic(against homosexuality)
people that are heterophobic(afraid of change)
people that compare love between 2 people of the same sex to a person loving an animal
people that "love more than one person"
people that don't take love seriously
people who take love so seriously that they don't do it
people who don't do say anything because they are afraid to be wrong
people who think physical touch is only between lovers
girls who have sex with gay guys and vice versa
people who treat sex as "something to do"
people who put money above all else
indecisive people(not cautious people, there's a difference)
people who only believe in what they see
people who prey on the weak
people who let others prey on the weak
people who can't see both sides of a situation
christians who don't believe the bible
christians who hate anything
people afraid to stand up to authority
self-righteous authority figures
I'll post more if I think of them
people who are usually decent to you, but something's wrong with them, so they don't take you into consideration and at least say, "not today."
friends who use friends
people who waste breath on obvious statements
people who treat insults like a passtime
people who assume things are a choice when they don't know what the fuck they are talking about
people who treat life like the only way to live through it is to be emo
people who are the epitome of emo
people who act "emo" even if they are happy
people who use "emo" and don't know what it means
people who "keep score"
people who "never forget(unless its schoolwork)"
people who are your friends but treat you like dirt and their reasoning is "cuz its fun"
being friends with people and being excluded at the same time
people who tell people secrets in front of others
people who tell people secrets in front of others and say, "you can't hear this! Don't listen!"
people who refuse to date others because it would "ruin the friendship," or, "we're too good of friends"
people who are basically like, "Hi, I'm blablabla and I'm [insert sexual orientation here]"
people who insult someone for a trait that may or may not be true.
people who insult out of malice
people who use friendship as an excuse to insult
people who hate others for no reason as all. Not even hiding behind the reason of, "your people sicken me"
people who either preach that love is the most important thing or make that their philosophy but can't bring themselves to care about someone that already does.
more to come...
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Thursday, June 9th, 2005

Posted by:stolenwalflower.
Time:3:51 pm.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Monday, June 6th, 2005

Posted by:_jellyfishing_.
Time:10:22 pm.

Hey. Are you looking for a community where you can interact with people who are knowledgable, and love their drugs? Are you looking for a chance to use your chemical expertise for the benefit of others? Are you a person with a glorious habit, and proud of it?

Well, you've found such a community where the feeling has been mutualized and concentrated.

But first you must meet Our Standards, and win the hearts of OVER HALF of our members in the form of an application process, because we are in fact one of those elitist rating communities, and its simply a way to weed out the lightweights, tasteless idiots, and typical douchewads, from the motherfuckers who know the deal, US, YOU, US. okay? alright then....

Tired of drug communities infested with brainless twits perpetuating the stereotype of the unintelligent, irresponsible, tasteless drug user? Longing to discuss your chemical love affair and lifestyle with other well-educated, well-read, socially aware users? So are we.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Saturday, April 23rd, 2005

Subject: Fantasies are Ridiculous.
Posted by:reggie_p.
Time:6:20 pm.
I've about had it. You know what I'm talking about. Unicorns, specialty erotica, "wicca," D&D, all of that nonsense. I do not think it is healthy for a photoset to feature a woman wearing a clingy white fairy dress in the shower, or a big rabbit costume, or a diaper - that is unrealistic and likely to create antisocial "wants" in the viewer. Do you think Thoreau wanted to see a topless woman in a diaper? You would be insane if you tried to make that case.

If you regularly indulge in fantasies, try to stop. Next time you want to be a horse, or Japanese, just stop it. You'll thank me.
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Sunday, March 27th, 2005

Posted by:lament_du_lamia.
Time:12:03 am.
Mood: annoyed.
I don't know exactly how i happened about this community, but I was amused by several of the posts and decided to join. My names Walker, if you want to know anything else ask. Ok, now to the rant.

If you're too much of a freaking wuss to go see a 'scary' movie. DONT GO! I went to see the Ring 2 friday night, and ee gads, I almost lost my mind. There was this one group of freaking little girls in the front, 12 maybe 14 years old, who the hell knows. They screamed at every bloody little noise. Something slightly shocking would happen and all you hear is a bunch of little girls screeching like babies. I wanted to kill them. And then you could hear them being all giggly after one of their shrieking episodes. Half the time they didn't even sound afraid, i suppose they were under the impression that the rest of us actually *wanted* to hear their sqealing throughout the movie. If you're going to be an obnoxious whiney bitch, don't go.
Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Tuesday, February 22nd, 2005

Subject:Angst! (otherwise known as How's This for a first post?)
Posted by:dviant.
Time:11:01 pm.
Mood: rejected.
Sometimes I hate my boyfriend.
Don't get me wrong, I love him more than anything else and I have for many many years.
We were pretty much fuck buddies off and on for about six years, and within the last year we finally decided to have a relationship.
I know that its probably because before we didn't spend much time togeher, hung out every few weeks, went out to dinner once a month, ended up in bed every couple of months or so... But back then, it was like any time we spent together there was sexual tension, even if it didn't go anywhere. The love was already there, we both have loved the other the whole time.
Then for about three months... The month before we made it official, that month, and the month after, we couldn't get through a day without having sex at least once, if not three or four times. You know how you have those days? Wake up, sex, go out to breakfast and come back, sex, watch a movie, sex, go out to dinner, sex.... Everything and anything is an excuse.
After that it is still pretty often, and I can't complain much except...

sex talkCollapse )
Comments: Read 1 orAdd Your Own.

Monday, September 6th, 2004

Subject:I'm new...on with the rant
Posted by:aloneinny.
Time:10:43 am.
Mood: content.
Hello I came across this group and thought it may be a good idea. i'm 25 years old and I live in ny. I'm having a problem that is driving me nuts. I have a boyfriend who i love we have been togther for a year. the thing is it is a long distance thing and he and i both suffer from depression. he gets really upset and really alone. i feel helpless at times like theres nothing i can do. i talk to him and try to calm him but it doesn't help much. we both live busy lives. He goes to to school for computers and i work a full time job. i don't know the point to this or even if there is one i just needed to write it all down. so far i like this group it look pretty cool and i hope to write in it again:)
Comments: Add Your Own.

Sunday, September 5th, 2004

Subject:What Makes a Genius?
Posted by:saylo.
Time:6:08 pm.
"Lesser artists borrow, great artists steal." This quote by Igor Stravinsky has infiltrated my mind for years now. When I first heard it come out of the mouth of my former film professor, I didn't pay it much heed. But little by little, I came to believe this to be the defining statement of what it truley means to be a genius.

The greatest genius I've ever encountered has got to be Sheeka, the old Hindu lady who makes crepes at the local French bistro. She's mildly retarded and has a gimp leg but she has managed to invent a fusion of tumeric, latex, and common household baking soda that actually tastes good. I could only dream of reaching that high a level of intellectual intercourse.

They're coming to take me away, haha!!!

Comments: Add Your Own.

Wednesday, September 1st, 2004

Subject:Advanced Excerpts from Michael Moore's Latest Book
Posted by:saylo.
Time:12:18 am.
"Of course Elvis is still alive. The vast, heavily right-wing conspiracy involves the senate republicans planning to use the King as a human wall dividing Israel and Palestine."

"Strom Thurmand preceeded Robert E. Lee as confederate general of the Civil War."

"I'm not fat; radical conservatives have been using trick camera lenses known as "lipolenses" which were developed by Harry Houdini, Jr. (devoted republican) to simulate an excess of flab on my person."

"My two television shows as well as my feature film debut were indeed ratings and box office smashes; however, this was never reported due to Nancy Reagan sexually blackmailing most of Washington and Hollywood."

"Squirrels can fly and play Mahler on Casio keyboards."

"Where am I? Why am I in this straight jacket? And why am I writing all this with a crayon?"
Comments: Add Your Own.

Tuesday, August 31st, 2004

Posted by:xorange_juicex.
Time:9:52 pm.
Mood: contemplative.
what are these livejournal things for anyways? venting? expressing views or opinions? attention? i have no clue. but it seems like so many people have them. its weird. we use msn and the internet to communicate with our friends when we could just tell them how we felt, face to face. if we didn't have the net that's what we'd have to do. it seems like most of the world is dependent on technology for their entertainment and communication purposes. i admit to using the net in this way, but im just realizing for the first time now how dependent humans are on it. if the power went out and we had no electricity, most people would be out of jobs and bored off their asses. its kind of sad.

life would be so much more interesting without technology though, wouldn't it? we would always be active,you know...doing something. and that would help the excessive number of obese people in the world decrease. more productive things would be done as well. we could actually grow as people and spend more time with ourselves and our loved ones and actually get to know them before we die. we need to have more close relationships in our lives i think. most of the people i know have huge problems with their families and divisions among them. i am one of them. my family is separated down the middle right now. if we couldn't hide behind a screen or telephone receiver, things would have to be dealt with and we could move on....

even though technology has opened so many doorways for us as a species, the pollution that we cause is revolting. we are killing ourselves slowly. our planet will eventually run out of natural resources and we poison the air with our gasses and drive wildlife out of their homes by cutting down the land to make way for mini-malls and whatnot. eventually, we will kill all wildlife if something doesn't change. at the rate that the rainforests are being logged, by the time i am 40, there will be nothing left.

..................... really makes you think
Comments: Add Your Own.

Sunday, August 22nd, 2004

Subject:What I post is NOT the sum of who I am.
Posted by:libram.
Time:9:49 pm.
Mood: pissed off.
[X-posted out of pure spite.]

Yaknow what bothers me like an oversized pinecone up the ass? People that assume that the events you put in your journal are the only things going on in your life. So what if I post about someone or something a lot? That doesn't mean I'm talking about or thinking about him 24/7. That doesn't mean I'm obsessive, nor does it mean I have nothing else to think about. If I posted about every fucking minor event in my life, I'd have my brain wired to the computer and post an entry every minute of every day, nonstop, describing things most people probably don't wanna hear about, like the consistency of my shit on any particular day.

Remember the "real" little books that people used to use as diaries? You know, before the cancer of the internet was invented, and people knew how to use pens and pencils? One didn't necessarily write in those books every day, nor did one write about just anything. People want to chronicle the important, meaningful, happy, or funny happenings in their lives, however insignificant they are. It's only natural to highlight and repeatedly remind yourself about these things to keep yourself sane.

So don't anyone dare call me obsessive when it comes to the things I choose to post about. This is a journal, assholes. Consider how your brain works. Do you realize how many times you'll think about one particular thing each hour? How many times a day do you think about how you look? How many times do you worry about your friends or your job? How many times do you wish you could bash some fucknut driver's head in with a pickaxe? Does that mean you obsess over these things? No. The human mind races along at incredible speeds, and topics will repeatedly surface, usually in order of immediate relevance. Study association trees sometime - it's interesting stuff. Try brainstorming in a LJ post one of these days. Just type out exactly what you're thinking at that moment, and go from there, no matter how crazy or irrelevant it may be. As far as journals go, we're free to choose which of these thoughts end up on paper, or in this case, typed out online. LiveJournal, or any journal, is simply a way to record the things we think about.

I'm sick and tired of people complaining about the content of personal journals. Yeah, so it's open to the public. That doesn't mean this is Ed TV, nor am I in any way required to post for an audience. If you feel you need to know all the details, or assume that I am the sum of what I post, you're nothing but a sorry dumbass clusterfuck of an excuse for an obsessive, dick-faced, retarded brainless lump of carbon-based matter with human features gone wrong, and you should be violently dragged out onto a busy highway and shot repeatedly in the face.

If you have a problem with that, go kill yourself. The human gene pool has absolutely no need for your kind.
Comments: Read 9 orAdd Your Own.

Tuesday, August 17th, 2004

Posted by:rebcav.
Time:8:55 am.
Mood: cynical.
Can anyone tell me why anyone would want to be a Catholic?

This is a religion where if a priest wants to marry a woman and have consensual sex with her, he is excommunicated but if he molests a little boy he is moved to another parrish AT WORST!

A religion that tells the masses that they may not use any form of birth control and yet allows millions if not billions of Catholic children beg in the streets!

A religion where its leaders live in the gold gilt halls of the Vatican as the poor give pennies to the church.

A religion where Pope Pius IX declares that What so ever laws shall be dictated by the church will be honored by God. And that the Pope is infallible! (Isn't this in violation of the first commandment?)

A religion that has persecuted and even imprisoned victims of rape as temptress' while doing nothing to the rapist! Told women that menstruation is shameful or worse sinful! (I don't EVER want to hear a Catholic complain about the way Muslims treat women)

A religion that stands at the pulpit and preaches about a loving and forgiving God then musters armies to go forth and kill or enslave those who do not think EXACTLY as they do! (What about the 6th commandment here?)

A religion that is responsible for the Inquisition. An institute where if people refused to violate the 9th commandment they would be tortured!

I am not talking about extremist sects of the Catholic religion here, all of these, ALL of these acts have received the blessing of if not edicted by the Pope.

Anyone think I am wrong? Bring it on! And before any of you Protestants, Jews, or Muslims think of jumping on this bandwagon, think twice, I have plenty for you too.

I am not a some radical atheist or agnostic, I am well educated and well read, I just hate hypocrisy. I have a deep and abiding faith in God but cannot believe that any one religion has the temerity to believe that God chooses sides.
Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Wednesday, August 11th, 2004

Subject:As if your Modern teenager would know how to write a letter on paper in the first place.
Posted by:kid_sportswear.
Time:7:13 pm.
Well! It seems a fellow cannot even enjoy a post-lunch walk in the park these days without being accosted by Youth. Picture this, god damn you: here I am, walking along in my own jovial manner. Good food in my stomach. Not a care in the world. When suddenly, teenagers happened. Two hussy 'nu-metaler'-types strolled by, and one, looking not a day over fourteen, loudly proclaimed that she would 'let me get to second base with her' if I took off my 'retarded hat'.

Now, I'm not going to go into conniptions regarding the hat. Naturally kids will have different* taste than a gentleman bastard in his twenties. But they should not be propositioning people in a public place like that! This is not a whore pit in East Berlin. What on earth is 'second base' anyway? I think it has something to do with sending each other letters written on perfumed stationary and escorting the lady to and into her taxi and such like. That's a personal relationship matter! Kids shouldn't know about such things! Don't they realize that you can get all kinds of disease from illicit intercourse? Burrowing worms in your privy member and other terrible afflictions.

Can we all just agree that teenagers should be segregated from actual people until they are old enough to buy decent clothes and have valid opinions?

Comments: Read 6 orAdd Your Own.

Sunday, August 8th, 2004

Subject:A rant about how much girls suck.l
Posted by:xorange_juicex.
Time:9:26 pm.
Sometmes I really hate my own species...women...or girls... Why do the majority of females enjoy bashing other females? Either verbally, emotionally, or even physically? Is it jealousy? Insecurities? I think it's both most times. Females love to bring other females down, just to make themselves feel superior...it's rediculous. I think all girls absolutely MUST have something to bitch about at all times, or else they feel incomplete. It's seen in every woman I know, especially the younger ones. "Oww, my back hurts", "She's such a bitch", "I hate my life". What do I say to those girls? KEEP IT TO YOURSELF! Because we all have our own problems, and not everyone wants to hear from whiney little girls who can't deal.

The next thing I hate about females is the constant need to gossip. It doesn't usually matter who or what it's about, but most girls love to do this. I, myself, try not to gossip...for I find it demeaning and kindof cruel...but from time to time I fall into this trap, but then quickly take notice and beat myself up about it.A lot of girls will backstab their best friend in return for feeling better about themeslves, gaining popularity, or sometimes just for something to do. Sometimes these backstabbing tales are not even true. Rumors are a popular form of hurt among teenage girls today. People make up stories that they think will amuse others [and embarass the person it's about] and spread them around...laughing all the while.These girls are insecure scum, and need a good reality check. THEY ARE NOT AS FUNNY AS THEY BELIEVE. Gossiping only makes the gossipers feel better by lowering someone else and laughing at them....it takes their minds off their own stupid lives.

Comparing one's self to another. This is also something every girl does. It can lead to serious problems like bulemia or anorexia... in extreme cases. Comparing yourself to someone who is prettier, thinner, cooler, richer, more popular, more talented, has more boyfriends, etc than you is just a bad idea, because nothing good can come out of it. It just lowers your self-esteem, and makes you feel that you should be more like them in order to be successful. It's not true...you are special and unique...do you really want to be like those shallow blonde ditzy twits? I mean really? I know I don't. All they have going for them is their tits...and will end up in a stripclub with two kids, and three std's 10 years down the road. Even though you may stop and think "wow, she's so pretty and popular...I want to be like her", you really don't want to be. Their lives are meaningless, trust me.

Girls who treat guys like dirt, or cheat on them [ just because they can] make me sick to my stomach. They should not take advantage of men this way. When girls cheat on their boyfriends either to seem 'cool' or just because they're horny sluts...I think they should be shot on sight. I know a lot of guys this has happened to, and they were crushed by it. My boyfriend's ex cheated on him numerous times, and she even asked for forgiveness and for him to take her back!.She also insulted me to my face on my second date with him...she just showed up to his appartment and insulted me! Practically called me fat and ugly! I was stunned that this girl that I just met had said these things. Oh well, she lost the best thing that will ever happen to her. He's mine now. And I'll never mistreat or cheat on anyone, let alone jon. I love him too much and am too decent a person to do that to a guy like him. I've been with him 10 months now.

Another thing that really puzzles me are those girls who are dark, depressed and obsessed with death. Why are they this way, I wonder. Sure, everyone has/will be depressed at some point in their lives, but why become so morbid? I understand the mentality of some who cut themselves. It is usually due to neglect in some area of their lives, and they are calling out for help or attention in attempt to fill the void. I understand your pain...but don't scar yourselves, girls. Just believe in yourself...and everything will become better sooner or later...just hang on. You are special, and we don't want to lose you. But the other group of cutters who state "cutting is cool" and think that if they cut themselves, they will be part of a new fashion statement. That's retarded. Get over yourselves.

Thanks for listening to my ramblings. They're more like observations really....I dunno.I'm not a bitch, i just hate most females for the above reasons.Feel free to drop a comment and let me know how you feel about these subjects.

Comments: Read 2 orAdd Your Own.

Friday, July 9th, 2004

Subject:Howard Stern: Crucified by the FCC
Posted by:saylo.
Time:2:20 am.
I've loved the Stern show for over 10 years. Won't gush and bore you but I will say that, although I support the Bush administration, I believe that Michael Powell and the FCC have overstepped their power. How can one deem something or someone "indecent" or "obscene" when nothing has been specifically stated as such (aside from the "7 dirty words" and a bit about bodily excretion). Why can Oprah get away with delving into explicit sexual dialogue while Stern is lambasted and threatened with heavy fines for doing the same exact thing? This has zilch to do with right vs left; this is a case of disregarding our great Constitution, an act which I see as completely un-American.

Until (and ONLY until) this sort of unfair punishment is based on specific guidelines rather than SUBJECTIVITY, no reprecussions should be dished out neither to Stern nor anyone else utilizing their right to freedom of speech and expression. Politically, I disagree with Howard and feel he is channeling his anger to the wrong parties. However, I fully support his show and his rights as both a fan and as an American. Remember Lenny Bruce.
Comments: Add Your Own.

Saturday, May 1st, 2004

Subject:12 Reasons to Ban Gay Marriage
Posted by:chapelier_fou_.
Time:9:44 pm.
1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, flying in airplanes, polyester, and birth control.

2. Heterosexual marriages are valid because they produce children. Infertile couples and old people can't legally get married because the world needs more children.

3. Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

4. Straight marriage will be less meaningful, since Britney Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage was meaningful.

5. Heterosexual marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are property, blacks can't marry whites, and divorce is illegal.

6. Gay marriage should be decided by people not the courts, because the majority-elected legislatures, not courts, have historically protected the rights of the minorities.

7. Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

9. Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

10. Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why single parents are forbidden to raise children.

11. Gay marriage will change the foundation of society. Heterosexual marriage has been around for a long time, and we could never adapt to new social norms because we haven't adapted to cars, the internet, TV or longer lifespan.

12. Civil unions, providing most of the same benefits as marriage with a different name are better, because a "separate but equal" institution is always constitutional. Separate schools for African-Americans worked just as well as separate marriages for gays and lesbians will.
Comments: Read 8 orAdd Your Own.

Tuesday, April 27th, 2004

Posted by:the_bungalow.
Time:6:10 am.
Seasonal Exercisers

  • Bicycle riders. I'm not talking about the professional cyclists you see around. Those guys know the rules of the road and don't fuck with you. Sure, they make you uneasy as you drive next to them, but most of them have great etiquette. No, I'm talking about the plumber who decides he wants to get in shape but is afraid he'll shatter his knees if he tries to run (not that I can blame him). They wobble down the center of the street at 5mph, 10 if the tires haven't popped yet. You impatiently follow them, secretly hoping that they'll fall over and give you an opportunity to run over them with the alibi that they fell in front of your car as you were passing them. They never fall though. Their fat provides some sort of extraordinary balance, sort of like the buoyancy they have in the water. And sometimes they make an attempt at letting you pass, but they wobble right back into your path and are too big to get around anyway. I usually keep donuts with me and toss one to the side as far as I can.

  • Women "speed walking" in tights. Yeah, you thought this was an early-90's trend, but it's still going on. It should be classified under public indecency and outlawed. The women don about thirty pounds of fat before winter so they can hybernate inside their homes in between soccer season and baseball season. When nice weather rolls around, they buy a pair of black spandex pants 6 sizes too small and go out walking so that they can lose enough weight to fit into a bathing suit and spend the entire summer at the beach. In reality, they never slim down. All the weight they lose, if any, is gained back when they celebrate by eating three cheesecakes. Plus, they only actually go out to exercise once a week at most. But because there are so many of them, I'm still forced to witness them multiple times a day, every day.

  • The best part? When the spandex pants are so small that when the fatass puts them on, the seams stretch to such an extent that you can see their cellulite-ridden legs blotching at the sight of the sun. Or when they decide they're still going to spend all summer at the beach, even with their rolls hanging out of their bathing suit and sea of cellulite wafting over their slightly rippling fat, resembling the waves of the real sea.

  • People who think walking their dog to the end of the street is exercise. Tell you what: if you agree to also bend over and pick up the dog shit that your dog leaves on the sidewalk, I'll consider it a form of aerobics.

  • Joggers/Runners. With this group, I detest those who are actually in shape and do it regularly, and not the amateurs. Amateur joggers know that they suck and should stay on the sidewalk (or maybe they know that people pay money to see oddities as weird as their running technique and thus try to stay out of sight). But for some reason, the more "athletic" runners feel as though they deserve to run in the bike lane, or if there is none, on the road itself. Who put it in their head that they can run as fast as a fucking car? YOU CAN'T. EVER. You can't even run as fast as a car in the slowest speed zone around here. And hell, if there are no sidewalks, at least jog on the correct side of the road (the left side) and in a column, not a row. I feel like I'm bowling when I'm driving, and you have no idea how tempting it is to go for a strike instead of the lawful gutterball.

  • Anyone that thinks riding a jet ski is a form of exercise is an idiot. And anyone that rides their jet ski too close to the shore, let alone all the way onto the fucking shore, is getting torn off and used as a stepping stool as I steal your jet ski. Kids swim there, prick. And I pee there.

  • Assholes at the beach who think they own it just because they're in shape and tan. Yeah, you'll probably be having sex in the water later and I won't be. But I can still piss in the water, and that puts me in power.

Started to get a little off track, so I'll stop there. Let me know if you can think of any other types of outdoor exercise.

Comment here, if you don't mind.

Friday, March 26th, 2004

Subject:New Rants
Posted by:clock21202000.
Time:9:07 pm.
Here you go guys... New rants. "I Want to Break Your Famous Face."

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